my sweet baby girl

My oh my! How they grow so quickly...how quickly time flies by. It is so strange to think that I brought this little girl home from the hospital almost 15 years ago...where did that time go? I always thought my childhood dragged by, but it seems that her years are flying past me. They say that time flies when you are having fun and I have been having fun watch her grow into a beautiful, amazingly kind and caring and funny girl. She is sassy. She is bold. She is fun! She is on the right path. She is smarter than she ever gives herself credit for. She is her own worst enemy.

But she is growing up so so fast...faster than I care to see her do it. I often tell her she can't grow up....that she isn't ever allowed to move out...that she has to stay with me forever. Secretly, I do hope that I have done a good job in raising her with morals, and the ability to be nonjudgemental, and with the ability to know right from wrong. I do enjoy watching her grow into a beautiful little lady...I do miss the days when she looked like this though...this is Kylie on her first birthday.



She was so cute...just a little princess...I still have this dress...her first birthday party dress...I pull it out from time to time to remember just how little she was.

But I do enjoy watching her grow and how much she changes, yet how much she looks the same.

Here is Kylie with my Mom. I think this was taken in 1997 just before Dylan was born. She would be about 2 in the picture. She loved her Gramma.

This is my sweet baby girl...or my punkin as I have called her since she was little. She is the apple of my eye...she is beautiful to me...She is a gift from God and I am forever thankful for her.

Random fun

This is random fun...this was a day of

just running around...this was a day that

they honestly liked each other

and really they do like each other

most days.....I love how he is all

leaned and smiles like he loves his

sister and her look is "lets pretend I

dont even notice he is there"

These are my kids....my babies.

They dont like that I call them my

babies, but they are and forever will be.

I am Married...but it does not define me.

Today a very weird cord was struck with me. On Facebook today, I had someone ask me if I were available and they commented that I didn't have my marriage status listed as such when I told them I was married. This really bothered me...yes, I am married, but just that word does not define who I am. I hate that more than anything, probably because I have seen my mother and so many other women, family and friends, lose themselves in the title of MRS. I told myself years ago, before I ever got married that I would never lose myself in marriage. I am Tracy! I am strong! I am confident! I am a Christian. I am Mike's wife. I am Kylie's mom. I am Dylan's mom.I am a nurse. I am all of these things, however, I choose to be known as Tracy! Tracy Bruce even works for me, but MRS doesnt work for me...I, for myself, find that offensive. I find that that makes me property of someone else. I am no one's property. I belong to no one. I am married by choice, not because I am someone's property. I am sure that this will make some offended, but I really cannot consume myself with that. I will not be defined by someone else. I will not allow myself to be just someone's wife. I am not even sure if Mike realizes this, but nonetheless, he has learned to not argue with me when my views are so strong. He would be fighting a losing battle. Now, I love my family and all that that entails, but I love them because I love me. And I cannot love me, if I lose who I am.

I love this picture. I love the depth and dimension of it. I love that that boy hanging from that rim is my son. He loves basketball. Loves everything about it, but secretly, I think he loves being able to be big enough to hang there.....the ability to be that big and be so young and do that is a feat. He is a large child...not fat at all, but I often refer to him as my manchild. He is a 12 year old trapped in a man's body. There are times that it breaks my heart because people sometimes expect more from him that they should, because they are deceived as well by his looks. I think that his face still hasnt matured as quickly as his body has, but it will get there, or maybe he will always have a baby face. I think he is handsome and well rounded. He is ditzy at time and sometimes I wonder if his cogs are turning, but he makes me laugh everyday! His innocense is unmeasurable. He has a heart as pure as gold. He loves kids. He is a kid. He isn't in a hurry and never has been. He is relaxed, maybe a little too much at times, but it is what makes him who he is....and I don't want to change any of that. He is a lot like me when it comes to people....he actually is open minded and takes things into consideration. He somehow at the age of 12 understands that not everything is always black and white...and this I am proud of. It is my wish that he will do great things in life...I think God has that in his plan as well.

Kylie...my daughter

This is my beautiful daughter, who is an amazing person. She completely lights up just by waking up in the morning. She is kind and caring. She is smart and silly, all at the same time. She is outgoing, which is kinda new for her. She is an athelete and loves softball....softball is her life. This year may prove to be a bit rough for her, as she feel at softball practice and broke her arm, which required pins and a cast. UGH! Not sure how this happened, but it did and there is nothing we can do about it at this point, except wait and pray that it heals well. She's upset and depressed about it, but we have to make sure that she is fixed right the first time.
But here she is in one of her uniforms.....isnt she beautiful?

Issues...resolved or maybe not

When I am sad and upset, I cry, I pray, I yell, I curse. Sometimes I cry so hard that I can't catch my breath. Today was one of those days.....I have been struggling and was faced with some issues that had to be dealt with...some of which I think stem from unresolved issues of my childhood. Things that I had thought I had dealt with, but I realize here recently that I maybe haven't dealt with them quite as well as I had thought. Which lead me on the path that I walked today. Not a path that I want to walk again, not a path that I ever want to discuss again in my life.....which will lead to issues that may arise again, but nontheless, they are going into the vault, never to be discussed again.