Tuesday, December 28, 2010

What is love.....

What does it mean to really love?
its that little feeling that you get deep within your belly.
its that longing that your heart has for someone when they are not near.
its that sick sense of worrying that something might be wrong.
its that picking up the phone and calling just because you wanna hear their voice.
its the going above and beyond and doing for that person without regards to what you might get in return.
its saying "sweet dreams" every night because you know they have crazy dreams and your hoping it will help them.
its that wanting to never go to bed angry,
its the silly fighting for no reason because there are just questions left unanswered.
its knowing without having to even speak the words.
its that kiss on the forehead.
its forgiveness.
its trusting even when you dont want to.
its looking at that person and you just can't help but smile.
its still wanting to be there despite the quirkiness of the person.
its wanting the other person to be happy even if that means your heart if broken.
its the sacrifice.
its the knowing what it could be if that leap of faith were just taken.
its wishing the fears away.
its holding on when you should be letting go.
its wanting the whole world to know.
its reaching out and just touching the others soul.
its waking up this morning and realizing that not all things are possible through love, it takes work, and dedication, and a willingness to try on both person's sides. One cannot do it alone.
its the willingness to hold onto hope...cause without hope there's nothing.
its knowing what your heart knows even if your head does not agree.
its where I wanna be.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

at the rambing again.

I do not believe in coincidence at all.
I believe that all people come into our lives for a reason.
I believe that we may not know the reason or ever know the reason.
I believe that everyone has a soul mate and I believe that at some point in life those soul mates will cross paths.
I believe that I am able to make connections with people and I believe that there are times that I know things about people that I should not have any way of knowing. I have at times, dreamt of people who are passed and was comforted or given a message to pass along. Crazy it may sound, but it is true.
I have stronger connections with some people in my lives, such as my kids, or the people that I really love and I have this sixth sense about them...such as last year a friend of mine has a friend of theirs pass away, I do not know why but I thought of this person all day long that day...felt as if something was wrong, that they needed some love and prayers. It is a weird thing to speak that tid bit of information out loud, for fear of being thought of as completely crazy, but it is something that I live with.
I always trust my dreams.
I always trust my gut...it has never lead me wrong, and in fact, the times that I have choose to ignore it, it has gotten me into trouble to some degree.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Promises

Promises are sacred...to me, at least. I will not and have no ever made a promise that I know that I will not be able to keep. Doesn't matter how major or how minor that promise is, if I say the words, "I promise" it is a done deal....there is no going back.
I have also tried to instill this quality into my children. They know this about me...so there are times when they really want something they have said to me, "Momma, do you promise?" They both know they have me if I utter those words.

I am not sure that many people take the words, "I promise" quite as literally as I do, so I often times will never ask anyone to ever promise me anything...there's too much to lose for me. I would fully and totally without a doubt hold that individual to the promise cause where I come from my word means something...and I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone is like me!

Crazy...

I am sitting here watching a movie and the song, "Crazy" by Patsy Cline is playing as this couple is dancing....but in my mind, I am taken back to Kylie being 2 years old and standing on my Mom's kitchen chair holding my Mom's hands dancing and those two singing that song.....

Crazy for loving you...I can still hear those two singing that as if it was happening at this moment.

The love that those two shared was amazing...Kylie thought her granma hung the moon for her and my Mom acted as she had done that for Kylie.

I miss my Mom so much, especially at this time of the year, but that song and that memory at this moment really makes my heart smile.