He sat all alone in his room, waiting....waiting.....and waiting. The emotions that must have ran through his head...the fear of the unknown, the fear of not waking from the surgery, the gratitude that he will again live and breath...without oxygen tying him down...the sadness that someone else has died.....and he will get to live...the inability to think that someone could give of themselves in such a time of loss and prayers and bargaining with God. He sat alone....waiting. He gets the call...his life may change today....he gets the call that he is so been waiting for...he comes...he waits....he waits some more...he sits alone and thinks and wonders and prays.....he gets told that unfortunately his new life will not begin today as orginally thought...he gets told the lungs are not as were expected and are not suitable for transplant.....so he sits and waits...and waits....and waits!

Sign your donor card...make your loved ones aware you would like to be a donor.
Donate Life

Oh it has started....

It had begun sometime ago...the what we never thought was going to happen so quickly, yet we knew that it would be here before we knew it...I am talking about the growing up of our babies, the dating, the heartbreaks, the tears, the smiles, the giggles, and the giddiness....but now along with that, much different from when I dated it the texting...I can remember being on the phone for hours with the love interest at that time...usually saying nothing for the most part, but these children now a days..say what seems to be a lot without ever really "talking" at all. I have this huge fear of much bigger disappointments for our children when there is communication, but they fail to realize that anything can be said in a text and there is this feeling of no tone in a text...and there is this huge airway to hide behind. I also feel there is a much higher divorce rate in the future as kids will not know how to communicate with their spouses.
Okay...let me get back on target.....I hate this age....I love it and I hate it. I love the beautiful people my kids have become...I love their laughs and their personalities and I love that they are stong, level headed people......UNTIL we allow "the boy" or "the girl" to enter the picture...when this happens, they lose all sense of reality....they are giddy, the are out of their minds! I love the innocense that young love brings, but I wonder if I haven't done some cruel thing to them to raise them to believe that all people are good, and deserve a chance, and that to just keep looking for the good. This is where the heartaches comes in...I know that heartaches do happen, but I hate to see it happening to them...all the while knowing that they have to learn that their first love isnt their only love...I know that I have to step back and allow them to see that people are different and good and that not everyone believes everything you do and that sometimes people are just along for the ride. Sometimes people are only looking for a day or a week or a few hours of your time. I know that there is this part of me who has to be there to just wait and to watch and to allow them to fall and be there to hold them and assure them that this too shall pass....I have to be able to talk to them and allow them to know that all of these stumbles along the way are all really part of God's plan for them...making them into the person that He wants them to be. Yet, still when they are heartbroken, and distant, and tearful and thinking that they will never like another person again...it makes me want to be angry at the other child too..it makes me want to say, "how dare you do this to my child?" yet, all the while, I have to step back and in the back of my mind, know that that child is too learning...I have to know that just sometimes things work out exactly as they are suppose to even if we don't see what that plan is during that time.
I have to remember that tears will fall and hearts will break and Momma will be there to put help make sense of it or to just take them for ice cream.